I’d Like to Buy a Vowel: E-mails Are No Place for Text Speak

Yesterday, I received the following e-mail:

Hello! Do u hlp w/ writting [sic] essays? I have ppr due nxt wk n rly need hlp. Pls let me no [sic]!

Honestly, my first thought was, “I can’t help you!” Not that I didn’t think I could assist this person with essay writing, and not that I didn’t have time to do so, but I really didn’t have the inclination. Seeing how this e-mail was written, I had an instant vision of struggling through pages and pages of text speak, and I didn’t have high hopes for the author’s ability to put together a cogent argument, either.

Now, I’ll admit, that may not be a fair assessment, but honestly, how could I not draw that conclusion? I know e-mails aren’t the most formal means of communication, but still, when you’re contacting someone in a professional capacity, especially someone you don’t know, the least you can do is take the time to craft a proper e-mail, complete with vowels. If you don't, you run the risk of looking unprofessional or even illiterate. It doesn’t matter if I can “get the gist” from text speak (or is that txt spk?)—you should be demonstrating your ability to use the English language and communicate effectively, and text speak just doesn’t do that.

Once upon a time, I didn’t think there was any room for text speak even in texting—I was very upset to learn my cell phone didn’t offer an apostrophe or the ability to capitalize any but the first word of the message. I’ve since relaxed some and now, though begrudgingly, type “dont” or lowercase a proper noun if I have to. But I don’t text very often, and I certainly don’t transfer those habits, dictated by the constraints of cell phones, into other forms of communication. E-mail may not be the most formal mode of communication (though I would argue it isn’t as casual as most people seem to think), but it still deserves a certain amount of thought and respect—at least enough to use all of the wonderful elements of language so thoughtfully provided on the standard keyboard. And that includes vowels.